When They’re Old Enough to Understand
When They’re Old Enough to Understand
When your child has medical needs and they’re little, you carry it all for them.
You read the letters.
You speak to the doctors.
You explain things in ways that feel small and safe.
But when your child grows up, it changes.
Laiba is 16 now, and last year when the letters came through, she opened one herself. She learnt more about her past diagnoses, and it hit her differently. She was old enough to read them. Old enough to understand and Google things. Old enough to start asking deeper questions.
And that has been hard.
As a mother, I’ve seen how much it affected her mentally. The overthinking. The “why me?” moments. The worrying about her past diagnoses and her future. Questions I didn’t always know how to answer.
As a mum, that’s painful. You want the best for your child. You want to fix it. You want to say the perfect thing. But sometimes you just don’t know what to say, and that really affects us as parents too.
This is something people don’t talk about enough, how hard it is emotionally when your child starts understanding their condition for themselves. You’re still trying to protect them, but you can’t shield them from everything anymore.
And the truth is, we’re learning too.
There have been moments recently where professionals have asked her questions directly. And that feels uncomfortable, because as parents we feel like we should have all the answers. We don’t realise our baby has become almost an adult. We’re figuring it out alongside them.
While we’re managing everything else, we’re also worrying about our child’s mental health.
Mental health matters just as much as the condition itself.
I’ve realised sometimes they don’t need big explanations. They just need space. Space to ask questions. Space to feel upset. Space to talk. And to hear, “We’ll get through this together.”
As Laiba grows, I’m learning I can’t carry it all for her anymore. I have to walk beside her instead.
And if you’re a parent doing the same, feeling like you’re learning as you go, you’re not alone.
It’s hard. It’s emotional. It’s heavy sometimes.
But loving them and showing up for them, even when you don’t have the right words, is more than enough ❤️
When your child has medical needs and they’re little, you carry it all for them.
You read the letters.
You speak to the doctors.
You explain things in ways that feel small and safe.
But when your child grows up, it changes.
Laiba is 16 now, and last year when the letters came through, she opened one herself. She learnt more about her past diagnoses, and it hit her differently. She was old enough to read them. Old enough to understand and Google things. Old enough to start asking deeper questions.
And that has been hard.
As a mother, I’ve seen how much it affected her mentally. The overthinking. The “why me?” moments. The worrying about her past diagnoses and her future. Questions I didn’t always know how to answer.
As a mum, that’s painful. You want the best for your child. You want to fix it. You want to say the perfect thing. But sometimes you just don’t know what to say, and that really affects us as parents too.
This is something people don’t talk about enough, how hard it is emotionally when your child starts understanding their condition for themselves. You’re still trying to protect them, but you can’t shield them from everything anymore.
And the truth is, we’re learning too.
There have been moments recently where professionals have asked her questions directly. And that feels uncomfortable, because as parents we feel like we should have all the answers. We don’t realise our baby has become almost an adult. We’re figuring it out alongside them.
While we’re managing everything else, we’re also worrying about our child’s mental health.
Mental health matters just as much as the condition itself.
I’ve realised sometimes they don’t need big explanations. They just need space. Space to ask questions. Space to feel upset. Space to talk. And to hear, “We’ll get through this together.”
As Laiba grows, I’m learning I can’t carry it all for her anymore. I have to walk beside her instead.
And if you’re a parent doing the same, feeling like you’re learning as you go, you’re not alone.
It’s hard. It’s emotional. It’s heavy sometimes.
But loving them and showing up for them, even when you don’t have the right words, is more than enough ❤️